


it's me and you

by Suspicious_Protagonist



Series: it's an effed up world [5]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Post-Squip, it's only a small bit of angst i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-18 12:39:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11874633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suspicious_Protagonist/pseuds/Suspicious_Protagonist
Summary: What could he even say? I have feelings for you? I wanna date you? Hey you’re cute and I wanna kiss your face?I love you?“Jer?” Michael sounded a bit nervous. He ran a hand through his hair and Jeremy’s breath was caught in his throat.He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t find the words or the breath to tell Michael, but it was too late to go back now.





	it's me and you

**Author's Note:**

> here you guys go <3

Jeremy paced around his room, the house completely silent save for the sound of Jeremy tapping the back of his phone. He raised the phone and stared at the text message still on his screen.

_ Hey jer, i know it’s late but i really wanna hang out? You free right now? _

And then he looked a little lower at his own response.

_ Yeah sure! Do you want me to come over or..? _

Michael still hadn’t responded, which was completely fine, it had only been a few minutes. But Jeremy was getting nervous. He paused in his pacing and laid on his bed, staring up at the ceiling.

 

_ “God you’re hopeless.” Christine was trying to stifle her laughter and failing miserably. Jeremy was sprawled out on the couch next to her, his head resting on her shoulder. She shook under him and he almost laughed along with her. _

_ Instead he sat up and faced the giggling girl. “It’s not funny Christine! He’s all I can think about! Ever since we started talking again after that party, we’ve gotten closer, and he just seems so happy. Everytime he laughs I can’t stop smiling. I’d do anything to keep hearing that laugh-” Jeremy cut himself off when Christine started giggling again.  _

_ “Christine,” Jeremy whined, throwing himself back down onto the couch next to her. “Stop laughing at me.” His words came out muffled against her shoulder and Christine just started laughing harder. _

_ “You’re in so deep. Why don’t you just tell him?” Christine managed to stop giggling long enough to ask the question. Jeremy looked back up at her. _

_ “Are you serious?” _

_ “Yeah, why?” _

_ Jeremy threw himself back up again, words tumbling out of his mouth. “Why? Because it’s a terrible idea, that’s why? He’s my best friend, what am I gonna say? ‘Oh hi Michael, just thought you should know that I have a huge crush on you. Have a nice day’? No! If Michael knew, he’d never talk to me again.” Christine leaned up and rested her hand on his shoulder. _

_ “Jeremy, that’s not true,” Christine started, but Jeremy just waved her off. _

_ “I just got him back. After losing him. Twice. I’m not gonna do anything that could risk losing him again. I can’t Christine.” Jeremy trailed off, feeling a lump work its way into his throat. He couldn’t throw away his friendship over a stupid crush. He couldn’t lose the one person that knew him better than anyone. He wouldn’t make that mistake again. _

_ “You wouldn’t lose him, Jeremy.” _

_ “I can’t take that chance.” _

 

Jeremy’s phone buzzed in his hand, bringing him back to the present. He unlocked his phone, bringing it closer to his face.

_ I’m on my way, see you in a few minutes! _

He sat there for a moment, staring up blankly at his phone.

It was the middle of the night, and his best friend was gonna be at his house in a few minutes.

It was the middle of the night and Jeremy was staring at a message from his best friend, who he was in love with and who was gonna be at his house in a few minutes.

Jeremy threw himself off his bed and hurried over to his dresser, grabbing some clothes and quickly changing. He thought back to one of the last times he’d hung out with just Michael.

 

_ After the party, Michael and Jeremy started to hang out more often. It was gradual, but Jeremy couldn’t be happier. He had missed the late nights spent just hanging out and ignoring the rest of the world. _

_ It was different now though. It was more than just the two of them now, and their friends slipped into most conversations. The music they were listening to was recommended by Jake. Jenna would love the documentary they just saw. And then there was Rich. _

_ It seemed Rich came up in conversations no matter what. Rich had played that video game, Rich took Michael to see that new horror movie, Rich wasn’t a fan of eggs, Rich this, Rich that. Jeremy hadn’t realized how close those two had become in just over a month. _

_ Every time Michael mentioned Rich, Jeremy tried to ignore the boiling feeling in his stomach. He ignored the twinge in his heart when Michael smiled as he talked, a different smile than the one he had when he talked about literally everyone else.   _

 

Jeremy’s phone buzzed on his bed and brought him out of his memories. The message was displayed on the lock screen, covering the photo of him and Michael that Christine took one day.

_ I’m outside _

Jer felt his stomach flip as he typed up a response.

_ Don’t you have a key? Just come in _

Michael responded quickly.  _ I was planning on us going out actually. Would you rather just stay in? _

Jeremy tried to ignore the thought of going out (on a  _ date- _ ) with Michael.  _ No, going out is fine! I’ll be down in a minute _

He glanced out his window and could faintly make out the silhouette of Michael and his car. The only light there on the street was from the lamp in Jeremy’s room, but it didn’t quite reach the car on the driveway. He turned to grab his cardigan before leaving the room, coming to a halt in front of the mirror above his desk.

A large hole was in the middle, a spiderweb of cracks spreading out across the remaining glass. In each individual broken piece, he could see his reflection, a nervous, red-faced fool. Jeremy started to pick at the hem of his shirt.

 

_ Jeremy and Rich didn’t hang out very often on their own. Normally they hung out with the entire group, or just texted back and forth. So when Rich can over a week ago, something felt off to Jeremy. _

_ The two sat up in Jeremy’s room, cycling through Jeremy’s games before they ended up just sitting on his floor and watching 10 Things I Hate About You. Rich was his usual self, snarky and amusing and mildly clingy. But Jeremy just felt  _ off _. He couldn’t explain it and it was growing more and more irritating as time passed. _

_ Jeremy’s phone buzzed and he looked down, seeing that he had a message from Michael. He didn’t notice the smile that grew on his face until Rich spoke. _

_ “You get a text from Michael?” He looked up from his phone and saw Rich, who was leaning slightly closer to Jeremy now.  _

_ “Yeah,” Jeremy trailed off, pulling his phone closer to his chest. Rich leaned back and smiled at Jer. _

_ “I was hanging out with him a few days ago, and we were watching this horror movie,” Rich began to ramble, but Jeremy couldn’t really focus. The off feeling was back. He just kept imagining Rich and Michael hanging out, perfectly happy without him at all and- _

_ He was jealous. Jeremy was jealous that Michael and Rich seemed almost impossibly close. He was jealous of the smile that Michel had only when Rich was around, he was jealous of how easily Rich could make Michael laugh, of how affectionate Michael got with Rich. _

_ “Yo, tall ass, you alright?” Rich nudged Jeremy on the shoulder, breaking him out of his thoughts. He nodded and stammered out an excuse, trying to will away the flush creeping onto his face. _

_ “Yeah, just spacing out a little.” Jeremy nervously laughed through his words, pausing for a moment. _

_ “I’m glad you and Michael are happy together.” He felt like he had to force the words out. Of course he was happy that his friends were happy, but that didn’t stop the jealousy that rolled in his stomach, that left a bitter taste in his mouth. _

_ Rich just laughed. “Happy together? You make it sound like we’re a couple!” He lightly punched Jeremy’s shoulder and settled back in the beanbag chair on the floor, facing the tv. _

_ Jeremy felt a small laugh bubble up in his throat. “It seems like it sometimes.” _

_ Rich scoffed and waved Jeremy off. “Calm down, tall ass. We’re just friends. Headphones only has eyes for you.” _

_ It was like Rich had opened up a butterfly exhibit in Jeremy’s stomach. He laughed it off, going back to watching the movie while trying to squash those thoughts. Rich joked a lot, and it was just one of those things. Like when he wrote ‘boyf riends’ on their backpacks. Rich just joked a lot.  _

 

Jeremy jumped when he heard something hit the window behind him. He spun around and stared, not seeing anything out of the ordinary. A few seconds later, something hit the glass again. Jeremy scrambled to the window and looked out.

He could see Michael standing in front of his car, pacing slightly back and forth. He turned towards the window and jerked his arm. A rock flew up and hit the edge of the window.

He threw open the window and leaned out just a bit, the screen gone for a reason that he couldn’t remember.

“What light through, um,” Michael was talking out loud, throwing a rock in one of his hands, “yonder! That’s it. What light through yonder window breaks?” Jeremy was trying not to laugh, his heart jumping into his throat.

“Were you hanging out with Christine?” Jeremy called down, trying to keep his voice low so he wouldn’t annoy any neighbors. Michael jumped, a small scream escaping him. Jeremy did laugh at that.

“Oh, hey Jer!” It sounded like Michael was laughing too. He stepped forward and stood in the small patch of light on the driveway from Jeremy’s window. He placed a hand to his heart and tried to look mock-serious, sending Jeremy into another fit of laughter.

“It is the east, and Juliet is the sun. Arise, fair sun, and get your ass down here!” Michael broke and started laughing halfway through, looking up and Jeremy with a goofy smile. 

“Be still my beating heart,” Jeremy called down, sending Michael into another fit of laughter. His heart was racing a mile a minute and Jeremy hoped Michael would think his blush was from laughing too much.

“Why were you throwing rocks?” Jeremy asked, resting his head in his hands. Michael looked back up, still shaking slightly with laughter.

“You said you’d be down in a minute like 10 minutes ago,” Michael called up. “I had to get your attention.”

“A text wouldn’t have worked?”

“Let me be dramatic, Jeremiah.” Jeremy laughed and sat back up, closing the window. He  heard Michael begin to talk again just before it latched closed. “Two of the fairest stars in all the heaven-”

Jeremy shut off his lamp and rushed down the stairs, careful not to be too loud. He was out the door in less than a minute, making sure to lock the house behind him.

“See? Doesn’t take that long to walk downstairs.” Michael walked over to Jer and leaned against the doorway. His hair was ruffled (probably from the wind and him messing with it) and he had a slightly smug smile that Jeremy just wanted to kiss off his face  _ now is not the time to think about that- _

“Shut up” Jer laughed, nudging Michael’s shoulder and hoping that he wouldn’t notice how nervous Jeremy was getting. Michael just laughed and slung an arm around Jeremy’s shoulders, turning them towards the road.

“I heard there was gonna be a meteor shower tonight and you know the park by your house? I figure it’ll have the best view, it’s so clear and there aren’t a whole lot of streetlights near here,” Michael started to ramble, walking past the cars in the driveway and heading down the street with Jeremy in tow.  Jeremy nodded along, paying more attention to the arm around his shoulders than the words being said, no matter how much he tried to focus. Michael finished talking, and the two just walked down the street, content to be in silence.

 

_ Jeremy moved around Jake’s apartment, helping him clean up the remains of what was their small party. The school year was finally over and they were all free to relax for three months before doing it all over again for one more year.  _

_ The room was quiet, the only sounds being the shuffling of trash and Jake’s quiet singing to whatever song was stuck in his head that day. Jeremy tapped his fingers against a solo cup, his mind only on Michael. _

_ Michael, who hung out with Jeremy but always talked about Rich. Michael, who Jeremy fell a little harder for every time he saw him.  _

_ “So, Jake,” Jeremy started, moving a little closer to where Jake was sitting, “you and Rich hang out practically all the time, right?” _

_ Jake looked at him and laughed just a bit. “Yeah, why?” _

_ Jeremy started down at the cup that was still in his hands. “Does Rich talk about Michael a lot? Because every time I’m hanging out with Michael, it’s like he’s always talking about Rich.” _

_ “Yeah, Rich talks about him sometimes,” Jake said. Jeremy tried to ignore the bitter feeling in his brain. It’s what he expected after all. _

_ “It’s weird though, Jake continued, “because whenever I talk to Michael, he never shuts up about you. It’s like you hung the moon.” Jeremy’s brain froze.  _

_ “What?” Jeremy stared down at Jake, who was smiling. _

_ “Yeah. Honestly, with the way you two talk about each other, I’m surprised you’re not dating.” Jake kept talking, but Jeremy was too busy overthinking what Jake had just said to hear the rest of his words. _

_ Was Jeremy that obvious? Did Michael really talk about him that much? How much of this was just Jake exaggerating? _

 

“Where do you wanna sit, Jer?” Michael’s voice was quiet, just a small whisper in the night. Jerm looked around at the park before pointing out a bench next to a paved path. The two walked over, Jeremy having to lead Michael because he was too busy looking up at the sky for shooting stars.

Two two settled onto the bench, Michael looking up at the stars and Jeremy looking over at Michael every few seconds. It was almost pitch black outside, the sliver of a moon casting the only light falling on their faces. Michael’s dark eyes practically glowed in the faint light and Jeremy’s heart felt like it was melting, he was so beautiful and  _ he was looking right at him shit- _

“Like what you see?” Michael teased. Jeremy sputtered and Michael laughed, loud and beautiful. Jeremy was so grateful that it was dark and Michael couldn’t see the blush on his face. Michael rested a hand on Jeremy’s shoulder, only slightly shaking with laughter. His hand was warm, the only source of heat Jeremy had on the windy night.

“Dude, you’re freezing.” Michael touched his hand to Jeremy’s own and he was right, his entire body felt like it was covered in ice.

“Only a little bit.”

“Why didn’t you bring another jacket?” Michael asked, shuffling away from Jeremy. Jeremy shivered from the lack of heat at his side.

“I didn’t expect to be outside honestly,” Jeremy admitted, pulling his cardigan tighter around his shoulders. He looked over at Michael and saw him pulling his hoodie off. Jeremy started to speak before Michael cut him off.

“You’re cold, I’m warm, wear the jacket.” There was a smile on his face, and when Jeremy tried to protest he just scooted closer and pushed the hoodie over Jeremy’s head.

He was so close, his hands brushing across Jeremy’s side as he pulled the hoodie down his body. It was warm and it smelled like Michael, cinnamon and smoke. Jeremy was sure that his face was the same shade as the hoodie.

“Better?” Michael asked, that teasing tone in his voice. Jeremy looked up at him and thought he saw a blush on his face in the dark too.

“Yeah.” 

 

_ Jeremy sat on the floor with his back against the couch, surrounded by a pile of pillows and blankets. Brooke was sprawled out to his left and Chloe on the other side of her. Christine sat behind him on the couch and Jenna was in the other room, making a bowl of popcorn. The girls had invited him to their biweekly movie date, and Jeremy wasn’t sure why.  _

_ “So,” Chloe said, leaning over Brooke to face Jeremy, “I hear you like Michael.” _

_ Jeremy sputtered. “Did you have to be so blunt?” Christine whined from behind Jeremy. _

_ “What, did you want me to go on an elaborate train of conversation? No, it’s time to just get to the point,” Chloe said, laying across Brooke who was just giggling. “Jeremy, you like this boy, right?” _

_ Jeremy just sat there in a mild stupor before nodding.  _

_ So this was why they had him over. _

_ “So tell him how you feel.” _

_ What. _

_ “Chloe I can’t do that.” Jeremy shook his head as he spoke, hearing Christine mutter something behind him. Chloe just raised an eyebrow (how does she DO that?) and stared at him. _

_ “And why not?” Chloe asked. She held Jeremy’s gaze, almost daring him to look away. _

_ “I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” Chloe just groaned and hung her head.  _

_ “Do you honestly think that boy would ditch you over an unrequited crush? Is that the kind of person Michael is?” Chloe leaned back up and crawled over Brooke, poking Jeremy in the chest. Christine was whispering quietly behind him but he couldn’t hear what she was saying. _

_ “No, he wouldn’t.” Jeremy felt dumb finally admitting it out loud. Chloe had a point. _

_ “You had the guts to ask out Christine when you were sure there was no way in hell that she’d want to date you. So why is this different?” Chloe was up in his face and he just wanted to sink into the couch, to run from the conversation. _

_ “Because this time it’s not some girl I had a crush on. It’s Michael. It my best friend of almost 13 years that I’m in love with.” Jeremy froze, actually hearing what he said out loud.  _

_ Love. He loved Michael. Yeah he’d thought it before, but he’d never said it out loud. It made it different. It made it  _ real.

_ “Then you definitely have to go for it Jeremy.” Chloe leaned back and sat on her heels, a small smile on her face. For the first time, she actually looked kind and genuine. _

_ “I know it’s scary to put yourself out there, especially when you care so much about the person. But you’ll regret just sitting by more than you’ll regret going for it. So take a chance, okay?”  _

_ Jeremy just stared at her for a moment. “Okay.” Chloe smiled and looked down at the ground. _

_ “Okay good. Glad we got that out of the way, all that touchy feely stuff was getting to be a bit much,” she said, laughing a bit. She settled in next to Brooke again, who just rested her hand on Chloe’s leg. _

_ “That was all so touching,” Jeremy heard from the kitchen. Everyone glanced up and saw Jenna standing in the entryway, holding a bowl of popcorn and looking down at her phone. _

_ “Jeremy should totally go for it. It’s about time honestly. You’ve been pining after him for forever,” Jenna continued, settling in on the couch next to Christine. Jeremy felt himself blush and mumbled a bit, Christine laughing behind him. _

 

Jeremy shifted slightly on the bench, thinking about what Chloe had said. He just had to go for it. Right? What was the worst that could happen? Jeremy ruining 12 years of friendship, losing the one person he cared about most in the world, and completely making a fool of himself?  _ This was a terrible idea why was he considering this- _

“Hey Michael,” Jeremy broke the silence, turning to face the shorter boy. He took his eyes off the sky and looked down at Jeremy, his eyes still filled with wonder from looking up at the stars. He had a small smile on his face and Jeremy felt his heart stop for a moment.

“Yeah Jer?” His voice was soft and he looked so at peace and Jeremy opened his mouth to speak and heard only silence. 

What could he even say?  _ I have feelings for you? I wanna date you? Hey you’re cute and I wanna kiss your face? _

_ I love you? _

“Jer?” Michael sounded a bit nervous. He ran a hand through his hair and Jeremy’s breath was caught in his throat. 

He couldn’t do this. He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t find the words or the breath to tell Michael, but it was too late to go back now.

Jeremy leaned forward and caught Michael’s lips in a kiss.

_ Holy shit. _

He was kissing his best friend and his lips were chapped and warm and he was kissing his best friend and Jeremy wasn’t prepared for this and  _ he just kissed his best friend out of the blue oh my god this was a terrible idea- _

Michael wrapped his arms around Jeremy’s waist and pulled him closer, smiling against his lips. Jeremy felt a laugh bubble up in his throat, Michael was actually kissing him  _ back, was he dreaming how was this real? _

Michael pulled away first and rested his forehead against Jeremy’s shoulder, shaking slightly. He was laughing, why was he laughing  _ what was happening- _

“I can’t believe,” Michael started, his voice shaky with laughter, “that you just had to go and one up me.”

“What?”

Michael lifted his head and looked at Jeremy, a goofy smile on his face. “I brought you out here so I could confess to you Jer.”

“You were gonna confess,” Jeremy said, laughing a little. He couldn’t believe this was happening.

Michael leaned forward, resting his forehead against Jeremy’s. “Yeah.” Michael took in a deep breath, laughing on the exhale. “I really like you Jeremy. I have for a while actually.”

“Holy shit.” Michael started laughing. His eyes scrunched shut and he just looked so happy. Jeremy wished he could hear that sound forever.

“I tried to be all romantic. Shooting stars in the park. Quoting Shakespeare at your window.”

“Your Shakespeare is awful.” Michael scoffed and pushed Jeremy’s shoulder, sending him into a fit of laughter.

“Give me a break,” Michael laughed. A moment passed, Michael just sitting in silence.

“I like you Jeremy. I want to be with you. Go on dates, hold your hand,” Michael paused, a nervous laugh escaping his lips. Jeremy slid one of his hands into Michael’s, squeezing it lightly.

“I don’t know why I’m still nervous. You kissed me, your feelings are pretty clear now.” He looked down at their entwined hands, a small smile on his face.

“This isn’t a joke?” Jeremy asked, biting the inside of his cheek. Michael looked up, confusion clear on his face. “You really want to be with me?” 

“Why would I joke about this Jer?” Michael looked almost  _ hurt _ and Jeremy just wanted to backtrack and never say that. Too late now.

“You wouldn’t, I know that, I just,” Jeremy stopped, huffing out a sigh. “After everything that’s happened, this seems too good to be true.”

Michael sat in silence, looking down at their hands. Jeremy closed his eyes. Bringing all of that up was a stupid idea, why’d he do that?

His train of thought was derailed when Michael touched his free hand to Jeremy’s face. He opened his eyes to see Michael just inches away, a bittersweet smile on his face.

“It’s all true, Jer. I promise.” He sounded so sincere, it hurt Jeremy’s heart. A smile broke across his face.

“Okay.” Jeremy’s voice shook, and he wasn’t sure if it was because of laughter or tears. Michael liked him. Michael wanted to be with him. It didn’t seem real but it  _ was _ and that was enough to make Jeremy feel like he could fly to the moon.

Michael leaned forward and kissed him. The angle was a little awkward and Jeremy didn’t care. His hands were around Michael’s waist and Michael’s hand was cupping his cheek and neither of them could stop smiling. It was the perfect kiss in Jeremy’s opinion.

Jeremy pulled away, laughing at Michael’s grumbling as he leaned forward to continue the kiss.

“So, we’re dating now, right?” Jeremy asked, his heart beating faster.

“No, I just took you out on a date, told you that I wanted to be with you, and kissed you and we’re gonna just stay friends,” Michael said, trying to sound serious and only barely succeeding. Jeremy just stared at him, trying not to laugh. “Yes we’re dating, dork.” Michael wrapped an arm around Jeremy’s shoulders and laughed.

“Just making sure.” Jeremy settled against Michael’s chest, feeling his heart beating faster in his own.  _ Dating.  _ He was dating  _ Michael. _ He looked up at the stars, sinking into the warmth of his boyfriend (oh that was gonna take some getting use to-) and enjoying the night.

Michael raised his arm and pointed out a star racing across the sky. “Shooting star. Make a wish.”

“My wish already came true,” Jeremy said, looking up at Michael’s face. He flushed a deeper shade of red and just sighed.

“That was so cheesy oh my  _ god. _ ”

“Shut up and let me be romantic.” Michael laughed and kissed the top of Jeremy’s head. The two fell into a comfortable silence, staring up at the stars with matching smiles on their faces.

**Author's Note:**

> and with that, i've finally finished this series! i love you all so much, thank you for all of the comments, kudos, hits, everything!!  
> this is the first time i've ever actually finished something? like this is my first completed writing project EVER?? how crazy is that???  
> i'm honestly about to cry right now. i love you all so much, and i hope you've enjoyed this series. it's meant a lot to me  
> as always, my tumblr is @suspicious-protagonist  
> i'd love to talk to you guys! send me a message if you wanna talk about this fic, bmc in general, or anything else!


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